Prick Your Protagonist . . . or Why Captain Marvel Doesn't Bleed

So let's just get right down to the nitty-gritty, shall we?

The new (depending on when you're reading this) Captain Marvel movie starring Brie Larson sucks, and I'm going to tell you why.

Sure it's a flashy, semi-entertaining hour and a half, but thirty years from now nobody is going to praise it for anything more than just another one of the Marvel movies occupying one of the lowest rungs on the MCU's (Marvel Cinematic Universe) long ladder of other, better movies.

And why is that?

Because adversity builds character, stories are supposed to be about protagonist change earned through character growth, and Captain Marvel has none of that.

A writer's trick of the trade is to compare your protagonist at the beginning of their story with themselves at the end of their story after they've endured all the strife you, the sadistic writer that you are, have put them through, ergo adversity. If they are the same person then you know your story is bunk and needs be changed for the better because nothing you put them through made any meaningful impact upon them.

Case in point: take Captain Marvel's fight against Jude Law's character Yon-Rogg at the beginning of the movie and compare it to their fight at the end of the movie and you'll see they are almost identical thus showing zero protagonist change.

Now contrast that with a far superior movie in Rocky. Take Rocky's fight against Spider Rico at the beginning of the movie and compare it to Rocky's fight against Apollo Creed at the end of the movie. Two totally different fights. The first one is an out-of-shape loser who barely survives while the latter Rocky, as the changed contender he's become by persevering through adversity and training, doesn't just survive the fight but almost beats the world champion. Now that is protagonist change earned through character growth if I ever saw it.

You see, stories exist for one reason when you strip them down to their bare essentials: the protagonist changing through character growth because of the adversity they refuse to surrender to. Otherwise the story has no reason to exist.

To simplify: Act One is the protagonist pre-change with all their old flaws and bad habits holding them back from achieving their true potential, Act Two is the protagonist slowly changing through adversity by shedding their glaring flaws and bad habits for shiny new virtues and good habits while they strive to achieve their true potential, and Act Three is the protagonist post-change in all their blazing true potential glory finally unlocked and unleashed.

But what causes this character growth? Adversity! Or everything that happens to them between the beginning and end of the story. If there's no change earned through character growth then all of the events they endure between are rendered meaningless.

An arrogant weapons dealer who turns over a new leaf after realizing firsthand that his weapons that made him billions of dollars are killing innocent people? You've got Iron Man. A meek and weak soldier boy who becomes a strong and bold leader of men standing against tyranny and injustice? You've got Captain America.

But a powerful woman who is basically indestructible and ends up just as powerful and indestructible as she began? You've got Captain Marvel and that's just bleh.

The reason why the writers of Captain Marvel deviated from the typical hero's journey and made their movie boo-boo was because they feared the social media backlash from the plague of Social Justice Whiner feminazis who pounce upon every opportunity to scream false injustice if the writers dared show Carol Danvers as a vulnerable woman learning to become a powerhouse after enduring through adversity because currently we live in a day and age where if you even glance at a woman wrong then you must hate and want to oppress every last one of them with your evil penis.

And therein lies their mistake, because all protagonists should be vulnerable in some way or another otherwise we the audience can't relate to them since, after all, we're only human. This is why so many people prefer Batman over Superman.

I call it the "Superman Syndrome" because Superman is basically a living god with so many powers if you split them up you could create an entire team of superheroes. And because of this, watching Superman tear loose on the bad guys is fun for all of about 15 minutes but after that you grow bored and begin wondering what's really at stake for a living god.

But Batman? He's just a guy in a suit. He's a brilliant detective and a billionaire playboy, sure, but he's still just a guy in a suit. You can stab him and he bleeds. You can shoot him and he dies. He feels pain and through him we feel his pain because we can relate.

The Hulk also suffers from the same "Superman Syndrome" though not so much because of his weaker and vulnerable alter ego Bruce Banner. Sure it's fun watching the big, green Hulk smash and pound his way through scores of enemies, but after awhile you grow bored of the rampage because he's basically an unstoppable tank of angry muscle.

Which is why it's a good thing Marvel doesn't have the rights back to make another Hulk movie because leaving the Hulk as a floater character who shows up in another character's movie for 15 minutes then goes away is more interesting than two straight hours of, "Hulk smash!" In The Avengers we get a small taste of the Hulk at the beginning, but then he disappears for most of the movie only to show up at the movie's end and smash his way through the evil alien menace during the climactic final battle. And that's good stuff because the Hulk is given to us in moderation.

Anywho . . . back to the Captain Marvel suckage.

Protagonists should change in one of two ways: either by eventually realizing the folly of their old ways then turning over a new and better leaf (Iron Man), or by holding on strong to their virtuous convictions as they deepen through adversity and thus make of them a stronger person who in the end inspires others to be better by example (Captain America).

As I've pointed out, Captain Marvel has none of either because the writers were too afraid of showing a woman as weak and feared being accused of hating all women in general. And that's a crying shame because everyone loves a good story about a weak underdog with a no-quit attitude who perseveres through adversity while defying all the naysayers and eventually comes out on top all the stronger for it (watch the movie Rudy, or Lucas, and tell me I'm wrong). Instead we got Brie Larson's character Carol Danvers who is just as powerful at the end of the movie as she is at the beginning, the only difference being that she recovers her memories, and that's about as boring as watching paint dry. The only reason Captain Marvel made as much money at the box office as it did is because Disney/Marvel released it a month before Avengers: Endgame and people went in droves to see it because they feared missing out on something it might contain for Endgame. If you remove Captain Marvel from the MCU, change her name to, oh I don't know, Captain Flatbutt, I'd be willing to bet my bottom dollar that it would make about one-tenth of what Captain Marvel made.

So the next time you plan out your next great protagonist, make sure they're a Tony Stark who becomes an Iron Man or a Steve Rogers who becomes a Captain America and not a Carol Danvers who becomes, well, the same Carol Danvers she's always been. Because if you prick your protagonist and they don't bleed then we don't care.

The RAVEN Trick . . . or Why Can't My Brain Just Work Right The First Time?!

All writers have their grammar quirks. You have ‘em. I have ‘em. We all have ‘em! Over years spent writing on the daily we develop and often strengthen these quirks through bad habit and a heavy reliance on spell-checkers.

One of my most annoying grammar quirks when writing is Affect vs. Effect. Most of the time you want Affect as a verb meaning to influence something and Effect as a noun for something that was influenced, though some confusion remains because both words can be used as nouns or verbs so that’s not a foolproof distinction between the two. But simply put, Affect means to impact or influence, whereas Effect means a result or outcome.

And yet . . . and yet, while writing my brain seems to combine the two words into a mish-mash of miscomprehension my typing fingers flub near every time either word is required.

For a while I fell in to the bad habit of substitution.

Affect? No way, Hosay! Impact or influence all the way, baby!

Effect? Not a chance, Charlie! Result or outcome, and that’s that!

But ignoring a problem only allows it to fester and worsen. And the problem with substituting Impact for Affect is that impact normally means to strike, collide, or pack firmly. So being the proud high school drop-out that I am, I have dealt with the Affect vs. Effect issue plaguing my writing via a little trick I learned years ago by happenstance.

R-A-V-E-N.

Or . . .

Remember-Affect-Verb-Effect-Noun.

Caw! Caw!

I have almost zero social media presence other than this blog of a website and my Facebook which I log on to about once every blue moon, but I often see other grammar quirks all over the interwebs and so figured why not point them out and make myself feel a little better about my own misgivings. Today’s digital age in which the youth of tomorrow’s adults text every 5 minutes of their waking lives exists as proof that well-spoken and spelled English is on the decline. Everywhere I look there’s a “To” instead of “Too” or “There” instead of “Their” or “Your” instead of “You’re” and it drives me crazy though I do understand. See if you can spot your own grammar quirks out from the list of the 15 most common grammar quirks below:

1. ITS vs. IT’S: Its is possessive, whereas It’s is a contraction for “it is.”

2. YOUR vs. YOU’RE: Your is possessive, whereas You’re is a contraction of “You are.”

3. TO vs. TOO: To describes a destination, recipient, or action, whereas Too is an alternative to “also” or “as well.”

4. ALOT vs. A LOT: Alot is not even a word, whereas A Lot means a numerous amount of something.

5. THERE vs. THEIR vs. THEY’RE: There is a place of location, whereas Their refers to something owned by a group, whereas They’re is a contraction of “They are.”

6. PEEK vs. PEAK vs. PIQUE: Peek is taking a quick look at something, whereas Peak is a sharp point, whereas Pique means to provoke or instigate.

7. COMPLIMENT vs. COMPLEMENT: Compliment means to say something nice, whereas Complement means added to, enhanced, improved, completed, or brought close to perfection.

8. DISCRETE vs. DISCREET: Discrete means individual, separate, or distinct . . . whereas Discreet means careful, cautious, or performing in privacy.

9. ELICIT vs. ILLICIT: Elicit means to draw out or coax, whereas Illicit means illegal or unlawful.

10. EVERY DAY vs. EVERYDAY: Every Day means each and every day, whereas Everyday means commonplace or normal.

11. EVOKE vs. INVOKE: Evoke is to call to mind, whereas Invoke means to call upon something like aid or help or perhaps a “higher power.”

12. THEN vs. THAN: Then refers in some way to time, whereas Than involves a comparison.

13. WHO’S vs. WHOSE: Who’s is a contraction of “Who Is” or “Who Has” whereas Whose is the possessive form of who.

14. ADVICE vs ADVISE: Advice is what you give when you verbally Advise someone.

. . . and the cranky ol' granddaddy grammar quirk of them all that really burns my britches every time I read it or hear it misused . . .

15. FARTHER vs FURTHER: Farther is measured distance, whereas Further is progress.

I obviously left off Affect vs. Effect from the above list, and you can too from yours if you remember the simple RAVEN trick. Though if that doesn’t do the “trick” for you, then by thinking in terms of “the effect” you can usually determine whether to use affect or effect since “the” will not work in front of a verb, as follows:

“Sometimes, the weather affects my mood.” vs. “The effect of hot weather on ice cream sales is well documented.”

Happy writing!

Rules for the Road . . . or How to Establish Order in the Chaos of Your Writing

I’m not rich and I’m not famous, but every writer needs rules to establish at least some semblance of order out from the daily chaos of their writing and these are mine earned from over thirty years of wonderful toil and struggle.

Joe's 10 Rules of Writing:

1. Read all genres, not just your own.

2. Write every single day, no exceptions.

3. Show, don't tell.

4. Write first, edit last.

5. Omit needless words.

6. Cut all -ly adverbs.

7. Use “said” for most if not all dialogue tags.

8. Write at least 1,000 words per day.

9. No passive voice.

10. Live life . . . or you'll have nothing of meaning to express.

1. Just because you love and write sci-fi doesn't mean you should only read sci-fi. Broaden your reading horizons and you just might learn something valuable you can apply to your own writing. And here's why.

2. This explains itself. Writers write. It's what we do. Writing is our ruling passion. If you don't already write every single day then start now. The more you do something, the more proficient you become at doing it. And here's why.

3. Don't tell us Angie was hungry; show us by having her empty stomach rumble while she swoons on her feet near fainting because she hasn't eaten anything in two days. Is Mark tired? Then have him stretch through a long yawn while scratching his hairy belly. Is Heather angry? Then have her grumble a few curses through gritted teeth while glaring murder at everyone in thin-eyed scrutiny.

4. If you stop to edit every sentence you type soon as you type it then you'll never finish your story. You can always return to edit things later—after you’ve finished that pesky first draft. Here's some help on that. Don't interrupt your musing flow or it may slow to a trickle. And here's some more help with that pesky first draft.

5. Stephen King's golden rule. Don't describe a doorknob for several pages of flowery prose if it's just an ordinary doorknob only needing turned.

6. -ly adverbs aren't just annoying but are immediate red flags of bad writing. Joe ran fastly? No! Joe sprinted. Heather yelled loudly? No! Heather screamed. Remember, the -ly adverb and the word preceding it can usually be replaced by a single superior word.

7. Stop having your characters volunteering or admitting or groaning or for god's sake ejaculating their dialogue to each other. He said/she said, 'nuff said.

8. My average daily word count is 5,000. Sometimes more if I'm writing new scenes, sometimes less if I'm rewriting old ones. A daily word count goal keeps you on track and keeps you productive because novels don't write themselves. And here's why.

9. Stop telling us Billy was hit by the ball, because we all know the ball hit Billy.

10. It's easier to describe situations once we've experienced them ourselves. Period. Ask a mother of five how it feels to give birth then compare her story to her husband's secondhand account and you'll earn two different stories.

And remember . . . rules are made to be broken, yes, but you break them at your own discretion.

Happy writing!

The Master Plot Formula . . . or How to Plot the Perfect Story

I believe that every person has at least one good novel in them begging for release if only they had the time and patience and the proper amount of creative know-how. I’ve spent well over a decade and countless hours dissecting hundreds of novels and movies because of my obsessive fascination with all things plot. And I’ve taken information from many resources while adding original pieces of my own in creation of this writer’s cheat sheet I call “The Master Plot Formula” that will guide you to writing your best possible story:

-ACT 1-

1. Old World Stasis (the protagonist’s ordinary world of home, work and social life where stasis = death).

2. Inciting Incident (the protagonist’s first introduction to the central story conflict through a major problem or big opportunity influencing their world in as permanent a way as possible caused by the antagonist).

3. New World Flux (the protagonist strives for balance in their newly disrupted world as they debate what can and should be done about the major problem or big opportunity of the inciting incident).

4. Physical Crossing (the protagonist finally decides to act and usually physically leaves their old world of restrictions behind for the new world of possibilities ahead).

-ACT 2A-

5. Things Come Together (the fish-out-of-water protagonist makes new friends and enemies while shedding old flaws for new virtues as they progress toward resolving the central story conflict).

6. Pinch Point / Betrayal Set-up (the antagonist flexes their muscles in a minor way against the protagonist / someone who is jealous of or dislikes the protagonist schemes their future ruin behind the scenes).

7. False Victory (the protagonist and allies achieves their biggest success yet toward resolving the central story conflict while earning the full attention of the antagonist and their minions).

8. Midpoint Twist (a stunning revelation and reversal of fortune causes the momentum shift of the protagonist from reaction to proaction against the antagonist).

-ACT 2B-

9. Things Fall Apart (the protagonist’s team suffers internal dissension as external enemies close in).

10. Punch Point / Betrayal Pay-off (the antagonist flexes their muscles in a major way against the protagonist / the protagonist is stabbed in the back at the worst moment).

11. False Defeat (someone dies and/or something precious is taken from the protagonist during this the antagonist’s false victory where all seems lost in this the protagonist’s lowest point thus far).

12. Spiritual Crossing (the depressed protagonist is struck with the inspirational epiphany to continue one last assault against the antagonist).

-ACT 3-

13. False Solution (all remaining subplots outside the protagonist are resolved as the surviving allies of the protagonist and the minions of the antagonist are eliminated).

14. Separation (the protagonist is separated from all remaining allies so they can face the antagonist one-on-one as only the protagonist can).

15. True Resolution (the protagonist defeats the antagonist or dies trying).

16. Aftermath (the immediate effects of the protagonist’s victory or defeat).

*The Kickers: All protagonists must achieve character growth throughout and because of the adversity of their story. As the writer it’s your job to “kick” them toward that character growth, and here’s how:

ACT 1 Kicker: Somewhere during ACT 1 your protagonist demonstrates their emotional shield earned from a past traumatic event they carry around to protect them from future harm. Show don’t tell the protagonist hiding behind the false safety of their emotional shield they have no intention of discarding.

ACT 2A Kicker: Somewhere during the first half of ACT 2 either the protagonist or someone close to the protagonist notices the hindrance of their emotional shield weighing them down and expresses as much through dialogue, forcing the protagonist to question the true value of their emotional shield and the scary possibility of living without it.

Midpoint Twist Kicker: Somewhere during the Midpoint Twist the protagonist battles against maintaining hold of their emotional shield growing heavier as the central story conflict progresses. Here they briefly set the shield aside and for it we catch a glimpse of who they will become without it in a daring display of potential, though this moment is fleeting because they have not yet achieved their full character growth so they pick their emotional shield back up and hide behind it again out of habitual practice.

ACT 2B Kicker: Somewhere during the second half of ACT 2 the protagonist overcomes the heavy burden of their emotional shield, finally lays it down as the false protection they realize it for and steps away from it as a changed character.

ACT 3 Kicker: But change is a scary process, so somewhere during ACT 3 the protagonist briefly regresses and picks up their emotional shield, but now it proves too heavy a burden and doesn’t offer them protection as the changed protagonist they’ve become so they throw it aside forever and achieve full character growth.

There are 3 kinds of stories:

The first is one with a well developed plot but no character growth arc; if you master the first half of The Master Plot Formula without the Kickers then this is what you’ll write, a pointless story with lots of meaningless action happening to a static protagonist who never changes. Plotters fall into this category.

The second is one with a well developed character growth arc but no plot; if you master the second half of The Master Plot Formula without the logical stages of adversity (plot) then this is what you’ll write, a boring story with a changing protagonist who meanders through a random collection of trivial events that have no logical connection but for that they happen to the same person. Pantsers fall into this category.

The third is the diamond in the coal, that perfect combination of pressure and change which creates the meaningful story of an exciting protagonist who endures through adversity and by changing triumphs in a satisfying conclusion to their strife. Authors fall into this category.

the 8-point story arc . . . or How To Construct Engaging Scenes

Nigel Watts wrote a little book called “Writing a Novel” as part of the Teach Yourself series of books that cover a wide variety of subjects. I was perusing the interwebs years ago and happened across a comment from another writer recommending Nigel’s book, so I hopped on to Amazon and bought myself a copy. Unfortunately for me, at the time the book was rare and pricey and I had to buy a used copy for $20, though now one can purchase a cheaper copy be it paperback or digital. Oh well, it was $20 well spent regardless.

In his book, Nigel explains the 8-point story arc, an incredibly useful tool for writers that has proven its worth many times over since I began implementing it into my own writing ventures. Nigel’s 8-point story arc is freely available all over the internet these days if one does a simple Google search, but I recommend you buy his book anyways because he spent the time writing it and “Writing a Novel” contains much more valuable (though some a bit outdated given our current digital age) information than just his 8-point story arc. So what’s the 8-point story arc? Zip-a-dee-doo-dah:

1. Stasis

2. Trigger

3. Quest

4. Surprise

5. Critical Choice

6. Climax

7. Reversal

8. Resolution

Or . . .

Once upon a time (stasis),

something out of the ordinary happens (trigger),

causing the protagonist to seek something (quest),

but things don’t go as expected (surprise),

forcing the protagonist to make a difficult decision (critical choice),

which has consequences (climax),

the result of which is a change in status (reversal),

and they all lived happily every after–or didn’t (resolution).

Thus is Story, or so says Nigel Watts. And I concur. But I also say the 8-point story arc not only applies to your overall story but also to each and every scene within it. And my suggestion is this: use Nigel’s 8-point story arc and describe your entire novel’s story in one sentence each pertaining to the 8 points of the story arc. This is a great way to grasp a secure feel of your whole story, before spending countless hours and months of daily writing, while also figuring out any pesky plot holes that may pop up.

Now that you have a loose plot of your overall story figured out in a logical though surprising way for your reader, you can next break down into further detail the scenes your story contains by way of applying the same yet different 8-point scene arc. Think of them as mini arcs within the maximum story, bridges leading from one scene to the next. If you wish, apply them to each of your chapters, though you will have to change the “resolution” of your scenes so that each event connects into the next in a continuous flow until your story reaches its true resolution, but that’s a minor detail easily figured out with a little tinkering . . .

And so the protagonist continues forth, executing their new plan of attack (new stasis),

until something out of the ordinary happens (trigger),

causing the protagonist to seek something (side quest),

but things don’t go as expected again (surprise),

forcing the protagonist to make another difficult decision (critical choice),

which has consequences (climax),

the result of which is a change in status (reversal),

helping them decide on a new plan of attack (continuation) . . .

Repeat as needed.

As example, let’s say you have a 20 chapter novel planned for writing. Okay, now let’s apply Nigel’s 8-point story arc as follows:

1. Stasis

2.

3. Trigger

4.

5.

6. Quest

7.

8.

9.

10. Surprise

11. Critical Choice

12.

13.

14. Climax

15.

16. Reversal

17.

18.

19.

20. Resolution

Now one only needs to fill in the gaps with the 8-point scene arc, connecting each of the 8 story arc points with a logical yet surprising sense of flow, and viola! the rest writes itself. But that still leaves a lot of white space begging for filling, truth be told, and if you’re familiar with my detailed writing guide for both Plotters and Pantsers (Pen the Sword: the universal plot skeleton of every story ever told) then you might plug in those pesky plot gaps even further like this:

1. Opening Hook

2. (Stasis) Save the Cat & Kick the Dog

3. (Trigger) Inciting Incident

4. Try/Fail Cycles

5. Physical Crossing

6. (Quest) Fish Out of Water

7. Allies & Enemies & Training

8. Betrayal Set-up

9. Big Success

10. (Surprise) Midpoint Twist

11. (Critical Choice) Rededication

12. Betrayal influence

13. Try/Fail Cycles

14. (Climax) Betrayal Pay-off & All Is Lost

15. Spiritual Crossing

16. (Reversal) Rally the Troops

17. Storming the Castle

18. All Is Lost . . . Again

19. All Is Won

20. (Resolution)

Whew! Isn’t that much better without all the white space screaming for words? Of course it is!

Though the above examples are only that: examples. You can devise your own novel plot chart as according to your particular story, changing and rearranging as needed. As to the details of the fill-in-the blanks, well, that’s what buying and reading the books are for, silly!

In Pen the Sword: the universal plot skeleton of every story ever told I break down at length every essential scene required for an engaging story learned from more than a decade and countless hours spent dissecting hundreds of movies and novels, leaving no plotting stone unturned but for your decision to choose and apply the essential scenes to your own story at your writing leisure. Pen the Sword: the universal plot skeleton of every story ever told is the perfect writer’s resource for both Plotter and Pantser and their next novel-to-be, especially so the NaNoWriMo writer looking to hunker down for the month and pen that novel they’ve been itching to write all year. You can apply my detailed plot skeletons and your story will practically write itself, or you can pick and choose whenever you feel stuck for ideas while pantsing and are unsure as to what your protagonist should do or what should happen next.

So do yourself a favor and buy your copy of Pen the Sword: the universal plot skeleton of every story ever told today. Your novel will thank you and so too will your readers!