“Brr! It’s getting cold.”
Jeff shivered involuntarily.
A chilling wind blew in through the open window.
He hugged himself.
What’s wrong with this little piece of writing?
It’s all out of order, that’s what!
Because it doesn’t follow the natural process of normal human reaction that is cause and effect.
Here, let’s try that again:
A chilling wind blew in through the open window.
Jeff shivered involuntarily.
He hugged himself.
“Brr! It’s getting cold.”
Flows much better, am I right?
Because it presents the sequential process of action and reaction.
Or . . . feeling, action, speech.
When you experience a motivating stimulus you don’t decide to feel a particular way—you just do, because you have no control over your feelings, which is why love at first sight can be so stunning, or sudden fright so alarming, or indignant anger so abruptly intense . . . et cetera.
Action, though often instinctive, is controlled at least to a certain small degree.
And speech requires conscious thought, however minimal.
This is why the most natural succession of the three is feeling then action then speech. Any other order and something just feels . . . off. Wrong. Unnatural.
Case in point: you walk into a dark room, you flip on the light switch, and the room brightens.
The dark room doesn’t brighten before you can flip the light switch on, or before you can even walk inside of it to do so.
Another case in point: you aim a loaded gun, pull the trigger, and the gun fires.
It makes no logical sense if you pull the trigger then aim the loaded gun and then the gun fires.
Same with feeling, action and speech which makes up natural character reaction.
And that natural character reaction is the response to a motivating stimulus.
Motivating Stimulus = anything outside your focal character to which they react.
Character Reaction = anything your focal character does in consequence to the motivating stimuli that impinge upon them.
Put the two together and you have the Motivation-Reaction Unit.
Motivating Stimulus: A chilling wind blew in through the open window.
Character Reaction: (feeling) Jeff shivered involuntarily. (action) He hugged himself. (speech) “Brr! It’s getting cold.”
Now, can we tinker with it a bit?
Of course!
That’s one of the wonderful perks of being a creative writer.
Try combining them like so:
Jeff shivered involuntarily as a chilling wind blew in through the open window so that he hugged himself. “Brr! It’s getting cold.”
Or like so:
A chilling wind blew in through the open window.
Jeff shivered while hugging himself. “Brr! It’s getting cold.”
Or even splicing them like so:
“Brr!” Jeff said, shivering involuntarily while hugging himself as a chilling wind blew in through the open window. “It’s getting cold.”
But what you don’t want to do is this:
(speech) “Brr! It’s getting cold.”
(feeling) Jeff shivered involuntarily.
(motivating stimulus) A chilling wind blew in through the open window.
(action) He hugged himself.
When your focal character reacts in an unnatural way, something about it comes across as odd and out of place. At times we can’t put our finger on the precise reason why, but somewhere in our subconscious brain that burrowed worm of peculiar detection is wriggling while letting us know that this is not good writing because it doesn’t possess a sequential flow of cause and effect.
Which is where the two-part Motivation-Reaction Unit comes in:
1. Motivating Stimulus (instigates the)
2. Character Reaction (of)
a. feeling (then)
b. action (then)
c. speech
Let’s try again.
Motivating Stimulus: Suzie, the hottest girl in school, and still wearing her sexy cheerleader outfit after the pep rally, walked up to Jeff and asked, “Hey, can I borrow your lab notes for tomorrow’s exam?”
Character Reaction: (feeling) A tickling warmth possessing more than a smidge of carnal arousal flushed through him, blushing his cheeks a hot scarlet. (action) He smiled. (speech) “Sure.”
And remember, it is not required to have all of the reactionary parts, only that they occur in their natural order if they so exist.
Motivating Stimulus: A deer burst from the shadowed bushes and raced across the road.
Character Reaction: (feeling) Jeff startled tensed. (action) He hammered on the brakes while jerking the steering wheel sideways. (speech) “Oh crap!”
Can become . . .
Motivating Stimulus: A deer burst from the shadowed bushes and raced across the road.
Character Reaction: (feeling: unstated). (action) Jeff hammered on the brakes while jerking the steering wheel sideways. (speech: unstated)
It all depends on you the writer and how you wish to present the particular scene.
Just don’t forget that it makes no sense when you rearrange things out from their natural order:
Jeff hammered on the brakes while jerking the steering wheel sideways.
A deer burst from the shadowed bushes and raced across the road.
“Oh crap!”
He startled tensed.
Because a motivating stimulus leads to feeling then action then speech.